I’ve heard that BIGBANG’s Daesung said “If a person wants to be an adult, he/she needs to stop playing game instead of waiting until he reaches the age” I think I agree with his words.. LOL
depresi? saya?
seseorang yang mengalami gangguan depresi juga akan mengalami hal hal seperti nafsu makan berubah secara mencolok (berat badan dapat meningkat atau menurun tanpa upaya yang disengaja), mengalami kesulitan tidur hampir setiap malam (kesulitan untuk mulai tidur, terbangun tengah malam, terbangun lebih dini, atau tidur berlebihan), berbicara atau bergerak lebih lambat daripada biasanya, kehilangan kepercayaan diri atau merasa tidak berharga, merasa bersalah atau mempersalahkan diri sendiri, mengalami kesulitan berpikir atau berkonsentrasi. Dan yang lebih parah adalah adanya keinginan untuk menyakiti diri sendiri, ingin bunuh diri atau bahkan telah melakukan usaha untuk mengakhiri hidup.
Terkadang seseorang tidak menyadari dirinya mengalami depresi karena biasanya gejala yang muncul berupa gangguan fisik seperti sakit di ulu hati (maag) yang tidak kunjung membaik, sakit kepala menahun, sakit kulit, dan lain lain.
BIRTHDAY PARTY??!??
Now I’m getting old… My birthday was on 3rd august. Many people who will celebrate it with their family,friends or lover. But it’s not me… Since 15th years old I realize that growing older means nothing. Why would I like to celebrate the fact that I am getting older? It’s so silly for me. Although I hate birthday party, sometimes I did it with my friends but sometime they are destroying my expectation about birthday party. It should be fun to prepare and held it. But I didn’t, it’s because some of my friends are always disappointed me. They suddenly calls me and tell they will be late or even the worst is they said that they can’t come. Oh damn!!!
Another reason why I hate birthday party is, I always have to make a fake smile. Many people think that we should be happy because it’s a birthday. But not for me,for me birthday party is a event that will hurt you more. Because people will talking about you all day long, start with a good point about you, then they will making a comment about your party and it will be continued to your bad point. I’m tired for making a fake smile when I held a birthday party.
It is just my opinion, if you don’t agree with it,I would like to say sorry… °•(>̯┌┐<)•°
mom.. do u know?
Mom,do you know that I scary right now?
Mom,do you know that I feel so Lonely?
Mom,do you know that I lost my direction and my destination?
Mom,do you know that I want to kill my self?
aku lelah
Aku lelah berpura-pura…
Aku lelah berfikir..
Aku ingin 死ぬ
my problem…
Inilah salah satu alasan kenapa saya ingin bunuh diri.. Rasanya tuh meaningless saya idup.. Nyokap gak tau apa kesukaan saya,apa penyakit langganan saya,bokap yg cm mikir ttg ms dpn saya tp gak tau karakter saya.. *mereka mungkin cm tau kulit dr karakter saya. Adek saya yg selalu kaya malaikat di mata orang tua saya. Sampai-sampai kalau saya komentar ttg sikap salah adek saya tuh orang tua saya berfikir kalau saya iri. *saya selalu menjadi tokoh antagonis saat saya membela diri saya sendiri. (Anda heran? Sayapun juga). Kakak saya yang kehidupannya sukses *kata orang kampung nih, suami,anak,rumah pribadi,mobil dan kerjaan mapan. Idup saya selalu dibayang-bayangi mereka. Kadang kalau saya pulang kerumah,saya suka mikir “hubungan saya dengan keluarga saya gmn sih?” “Saya disini tuh siapa n ngapain?” (Bukan karna saya jarang pulang tp saya merasa asing dengan hidup saya sendiri) Saya pengen mati *saya tau ini dosa,tp serius deh pikiran ini selalu lewat di kepala saya. Saya tau mati gak enak. Saya pernah diceritain dan diceramahi sm temen yang pernah ikut kebaktian “trip to hell” (*saya muslim). Saya pun pernah ikut acara perkembangan psikologis yg menyatakan “bunuh diri itu bodoh”. Tp saya menganggap itu sangatlah nonsense. Ah biarlah ini cm ad di pikiran saya yang bodoh ini. LOL
the end of us – the start of my better life
when u decide to leave me
i feel like a cold breeze has been hit my heart
when u said its better for us to be separate
i feel like dizziness not only come to my head but also my heart too
and i realize that we aren’t in good order anymore
we just need time to understand and make a good decision
those words feels like a big hammer which crush over my heart
cold meat has getting a great beat in my head
we aren’t good enough to continue this relationship
how funny we are right now
we can’t smile nor cry
we just can see our shadow leaving further away
let’s just say goodbye for the past
and say heloo for the future
let’s have a big smile for people around us
just forget our bad terms
it just a little mistake so we can growing up better
THE MEANING OF MUSIC FOR ME
Since 19 years ago (when I was 2 years old) my mom knows that I have an interest in music. When I was 2 years old my mom saw me dancing and singing any children songs. Then I join in a neighborhood children dance club until 5th grade in elementary school. I still remember some dance that I learn. Mostly I learn Javanese traditional dance. I like it. Because of last year at elementary school, I have to stop that activity. Then I became mid high school student, in my mid high school time I join in marching band club, choir club, and Rebana club (Arabian music instrument). In my high school year, I join in band and dance club. I don’t know why I love every activity which related with music. I don’t ever choose any genre of music; I like every kind of music. Rock, pop, hip hop, Rn’B, acoustic, Opera, orchestra, and etc. I can enjoy every kind of music. Music is a universal thing that I can enjoy freely. Even the language is different I still can enjoy the song. Once I cried when I hear a Korean song that I don’t know what is the meaning of the song. I touched by the music first. Then I search the lyrics, and yes that song has good lyrics. Now I became a university radio announcer, wow I can listen up many kind of song. I can listen every kind of song, such as oldies song, underground song, traditional song and etc.
My Partner of life
I write this post almost 01.00 in the dark morning… hhahha… after a long time I didn’t do any post, don’t know why I feel suddenly have an idea to write something… this is about my relationship with my boyfriend. I already became his girlfriend since May 2009. It means our relationship has been 2 years. I like his personality. His not handsome (I don’t like handsome guy… because they are so boring… hhahha…), his have good speaking ability, hard worker, and patient to handle my bad personality (hhahha… I’m not really a good girl actually). Now, after I build this 2 years relationship with him, he suddenly became pessimistic. I don’t know why. He lost his confident to continuing our relationship. He thinks that his family background will became a hard thing if we want to continue this relationship to the next step. Actually I don’t really care about family background in the past time because If we continue to the next step it means our relationship become the first of priority and our big family will become 2nd priority (that’s what I think…). Now I don’t know what I should have to do to persuade him. It might become the end of our relationship… what I just want to say to him is I love him so much and I don’t want to left by him.
with Love
Cha_Rizuka
Singing is not my talent (i guess)
I have been singing since i was born.. Hhaha.. But after i join at university i stop my singing activity.. So my ability at singing was drop a lot.. And today.. I try to go to karaoke room.. And what a shame, i always got low score.. Its always about 60-80.. And my other frinds who always singing with everything style they want, they got big score… So what should i do now.. I really want singing again.. Next time i will give u my video when i’m singing.. Bubye..
With love
Cha_rizuka
icharizuka 